Holiday Weekends Suck - only foodwise.....

Day Two:  July 2, 2011
Weight: 163.2 (can't weigh again until Monday)

Goal for the Day:  Find a way to enjoy the life changes.

Today is the start of the Tour de France (TDF) and I woke up 4 minutes before it kicked off on Versus.  I hurry out to get the TV on and ready before the start.  I have planned to work while I watching so I get my laptop all set up.  Change is the theme for the tour this year.  New panel member, different leaders, different teams, different uniforms, and different TV stations.  Every year it's the same, but it'll be the middle of week two before I acclimate to it.  I even know this about myself and thought 'By next week, this will seem normal'.

Funny how I can apply that to other changes in my life, but not to changing my diet.  I have tried in the past to make changes and I have come to learn the basics for healthy eating, but couldn't make it the three or four weeks of change to get used to it before I reverted back to the bad eating habits.  The revelation this week that no matter how long I have been eating healthy - 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years - that as soon as I take in one of those forbidden foods,  I will go right back to those bad habits.

Knowing this, I should be better equipped to resist those items going forward.  And like my father with his addiction problems, I will have to treat those items like an allergy.  That really does make it easier to resist.  Just like finding out I am allergic to raw, unprocessed tomatoes because there is a protein on the skin that is the same as what is on grasses which I am highly allergic to, or allergic to pumpkin seeds and thus pumpkins, I will know that the allergic reaction is the need for more rather than just an itchy palette and urge to cough.

So without the stressor of work to deal with, I am hopeful that day two will be more successful and it was.  After settling in to watch the TDF for the next 4 hours, I use the commercials to get things done.  During the first commercial I gather up my morning vitamins and prescriptions to take and a diet Pepsi to take them with from the fridge.  I am hoping I can resist drinking more than 2 a day.

It's not the sugar factor or the sweetness factor that is the issue.  I like the carbonation and the 'burn' as I drink it.  It feels like when I drink that when I eat, that it does a better job than just water or something without carbonation to cleanse my palette or thirst from whatever food I've eaten.  I know it's not the healthiest choice so I am glad for the restriction, but 2 per day will be a hard adjustment.  Robin, my nutritionist, has let me know that it's the caffeine in it that is negatively affecting me causing my adrenal glands to be overworked.  She said this is one of thee reasons I have trouble sleeping at night.  With all that caffeine coursing through my body, it was hard to turn off at night and reset.  I never thought I had the same problem that others have with drinking caffeine at certain parts of the day.  I do know I've had trouble giving it up entirely in the past so the restriction is a good compromise.

Another weaning of bad habits I am doing is reducing the sugar to one dark chocolate candy bar a day.  I was surprised to find out it wasn't the 250 calories per bar like other candies, but 180 calories.  I know Hershey's isn't the best of the dark chocolate options with only 45% cacao, but it's better than a Butterfinger. Tomorrow will be my last day of it (buy 2 get one free at Kroger), but having the one 'out' allows me the ability to resist it the rest of the day.

So as I take my morning vitamins, I have my candy bar for breakfast - along with a Greek yogurt (Fage yogurt with strawberry).  Total consumption is 320 calories.  It took me a while to eat the yogurt since it was my first Greek one, but it was quite tasty and filling so I imagine that will be something I treat as a 'sweet' in my brave new world.  I have an additional diet Pepsi early on and because of that, I realize I won't be able to stick to 2 on this day either.  I try to make better choices knowing that I will fall in this area.

Running errands during the lunch hour, I took another meal replacement shake for my lunch meal and picked up a 20oz water while I'm out.  It's brutal in the car in Georgia in July with no air conditioning.  We get our errands run, but after sweating it out, my daughter and I are worn out and just want to rest.  I realized as I was doing my errands that I always try to take on too much and end up failing at one or more things because of it.  Knowing this now, I gave myself a break from trying to get my to-do list done in one day rather than just getting things done as I get them done.  I am more motivated now with the help of the Vyvanse, and without the distraction of food or Facebook games, I am left with only my  to-do's and other goals to fill my days.

We had plans to go to a friend's house for dinner and fireworks and after meeting with the nutritionist, my plan of bringing apple and pecan pies for dessert changed to a healthy green salad.  My friend, Dana, was supportive of my new diet restrictions and offered salmon steaks instead of burgers for her and me as well as sweet potatoes instead of white ones as a side.  I got the all clear from Robin on these.  While I watched the others eat their juicy cheese burgers, baked beans and potato salad, I enjoyed my grilled salmon, salad with light caesar dressing, fruit salad (just fruit, no toppings or dressings) and sweet potato.  The salad was so good, I went back for more which is probably a first for me.  I made sure to put the cheese for it in a separate bowl because I didn't want it on mine, but wanted to offer it for the salad.

When we had stopped on the way to her house to pick up ice, drinks and pineapple chunks for the fruit salad, I was really really tempted to get another candy bar while waiting to be checked out.  I will definitely have to either find a faster lane or the lane without the candy to check out from going forward.  That was a real struggle.  So instead I settled for another 20 oz diet Pepsi.  Not the best choice, but better than candy or cookies.

Having another diet Pepsi to start (and because the trip over was really sweltering with no A/C still) and then two Sparkling Ice (my new favorite drink) with dinner, we headed out to walk up to the fireworks.  That was a good 1/2 mile walk while carrying a chair.  So I count that for my exercise for the day.  We enjoyed the fireworks with bottled water for the heat (and to wash the ashes off our faces from sitting so close to the set off point) and then headed back.  I did nibble on a couple of potato chunks from the potato salad, but it was not made with mayonnaise, but rather lemon vinaigrette.  Tangy and satisfying.

Eventually, we headed home and I was tempted to have another soda and my last candy bar when I got home, however, I resisted and fell into bed once the kids were settled.  Another day through and victory over the sugar demons.  My hope for day three is to reduce the soda consumption by at least 1 if not 2 sodas to get me to my prescribed 2 per day maximum.  Hopefully, after I get used to the caloric restrictions, I can focus on standing firm in that area.

Here is my food journal for the day:

• 8:15 AM  -12 oz diet Pepsi, 1 Hershey's Special Dark candy bar, 1 Fage Greek Yogurt with Strawberry 
• 10:00 AM - 12 oz diet Pepsi
• 12:30 PM - 17 oz EAS Myoplex Original meal replacement shake, chocolate fudge flavored, 16 oz water
• 3:00 PM - Turkey and cheese wrap - 1 low carb tortilla, 2 slices of lean turkey, 1 slice of low fat cheese (not cheese product...this was a hard search), 1 tsp of mayonnaise.  16 oz no calorie Kroger brand carbonated water beverage.
• 7:15 PM - 3 slices of trident sugar free gum (thankfully something to chew on without consuming calories or filling up on sugar items)
• 8:00 PM - 1 7oz salmon fillet, seasoned with herbs and lemon, grilled.  2 cups green salad with baby spinach, romaine and arugula, cucumbers ,celery, pine nuts, carrots and 1 tbsp of light caesar dressing. 1/4 cup fruit chunks (grapes, blueberries, raspberries, kiwi and pineapple), 1/2 sweet potato with cinnamon and 1/2 tbsp of smart balance.  20 oz Diet Pepsi, 2-17oz Sparkling Ice beverages, 20 oz water
• 10:30 PM - 20 oz water, 5 or 6 chunks from potato salad, more gum for ride home to stay awake.

I'd like to start a daily recommendation either for a book or product and hopefully, something I recommend will be something that you have been looking for.

Today's recommendation:  Flat Belly Diet! by Liz Vaccariello, Cynthia Sass with foreword by David L. Katz. A couple of years ago, I tried this diet and it worked for me for a couple of months.  I fell off the wagon when I had to have my tonsils removed and while I tried a couple times later to start it up again, I'd lost the impetus to stick with it.  This plan is balanced with a calorie restricted meal plan that includes mono-unsaturated fats with each meal.  The meal plan was easy to stick to, provided I wasn't cooking for the whole family who wasn't willing to go on this with me.  That's when things got tricky.  I also like that dark chocolate is part of the meal plan.

Also in the Flat Belly Diet line are cookbooks, pocket shopping guides and specific guides for families and men who try the new regime.  I hesitate to use the word 'diet' because for some of us, it's an ugly word full of withdrawal, restrictions and deprivation.  So plan, regimen or menu will be the words I will use to describe the foods that can and can't be eaten from now on!

Please click on the link below to check out the Flat Belly Diet books and guides.  I hope this helps some folks get on the road to healthy eating

Day one Sugar free

Day One:  July 1, 2011
Weight:  163.2 lbs

Day one goal:  Don't kill anyone while I am detoxing from sugar.

This sounds simple enough, however, when you are a sugar addict and every moment you are awake you are either eating sugar, thinking about eating sugar, planning on eating sugar or feeling horrible about yourself and your lack of self control for consuming all of that sugar, it can be challenging.

So here's the deal.  I eat crap.  Poptarts for 2 of my 3 meals and the last one so full of processed food and starches that the poptarts look healthy.  I drink diet soda all day long and could easily go through a twelve pack in a day.  I can't stop at just one piece of candy, but can go through the bag of treats in one sitting.  I don't share well either.  I will get upset if my kids eat my Lucky Charms or my ginger snap cookies.  I knew I had a problem, but it didn't seem fair that other people could eat whatever and I couldn't.

Eventually, though I realized that there must be something I can do to feel better, to take less pills, to stop feeling depressed all the time.  So I met with a nutritionist and she confirmed what I already knew.  That for me, sugar is my addiction much like a 1/5 of vodka is the pitfall for an alcoholic.  I will eat way past fullness when those items are around because I want to make sure I get it all and no one else can take it from me.  And something I like to say often to explain how I know I am doing bad behavior is that I have the small rational part of my brain - little rational me - who knows that eating two dozen croissants in one day is wrong, that part of my brain is locked up in a plexiglass cage high up in the cavern of my psyche.  It can see all the bad things I do, but has no power to stop it.

So after discussing all my eating habits, triggers and the goals and reason I am seeing the nutritionist, Robin, I am given a game plan for at least three weeks.  Most disappointing though is the knowledge that I need to avoid baked goods, breads, grains like the plague, not just while I am relearning foods to eat and such, but forever.  Like a drug addict or alcoholic, I can never have those things again.  Many addicts treat it like an allergy.  It's easier to do than saying it's something you can't handle because that just makes you feel weak, but if you say it's an allergy, then it's like people who are allergic to peanuts or bee stings.  That makes it socially acceptable and something you have no control over, never had any control over it really.

I went home that evening and like someone going off to war or the prisoner having their final meal, I feasted on the remainder of the bag of chicken nuggets with marinade that was left in the house.  Totally bloated and miserable after eating it all, I went to bed contemplating the life change I was about to embark on.

This brings us to Day One of detox and rehab.  I woke up extremely early and spent hours researching some non-food things before getting ready for work.  On the way to the office, I stopped at the grocery store with my menu list in hand.  I spent thirty minutes searching for some of the items that I could eat for the day and with a resigned attitude, headed in for a my first day without my sugar crutch.

I should mention that  I am a stress eater.  When I get stressed out, I want to go back to my comfort foods like candy, poptarts, breads. - and lately everything about work stresses me.  So the day was going to be a huge challenge and within my first hour there, I was challenged to not look for edible stress relievers.  I was able to focus for the first few hours without incident and then it was time for the company lunch.

Normally, I'm the first person in line - something about buffet lines that screams be first or get every germ everyone else has left behind, plus I don't want to miss out on anything - but today, it was with little hope of being able to consume anything that I headed out.  I was still able to be first in the line for lunch and made a healthy choice of a small section of chicken slices and some baby spinach, romaine and arugula salad with balsamic vinegar dressing.  I did pick up some mango chutney for the chicken.  With my 16oz of water and my 17 oz Ice sparkling water drink, I settled in for lunch.  Despite being at a table with coworkers who had loaded up their plates with rolls, desserts and rice which I was forbidden, I was able to control the urge to eat any of that.  In fact, I felt pretty good about my meal for the day.

Later, it was time for my snack and I opted for a stick of string cheese (reduced fat of course) and the second diet Pepsi I was allowed for the day.  I was able to finish up my work day with success, drinking more water than I have recently and sticking to the timing, amounts and types of foods I was supposed to eat on my new plan (not diet).   The next test would be Friday evening rush hour added to holiday traffic...with no air conditioning in the car.  I made it home with two whiny teenagers and loved my air conditioned home as soon as I stepped in the door.  We settled in for a bit, I had an apple for my snack and around 8 we went shopping.  I got the rest of the items on my list to last me a couple of weeks.  The teens however pushed for pizza for dinner and they picked up something that included cookies.  Cruel, but I allowed it.  It was hard to resist, but I made it through without stealing any of their dinner or dessert.  Although my daughter feeding her leftovers to the dogs kind of ticked me off, but it was either that or the trash so there you go....

Not being able to decide what I wanted to eat, I ended up waiting until 11 pm before I had the eggs and Canadian bacon choice.  I know, not the best decision to wait that long, but I honestly couldn't figure out which meal would satisfy me the most without involving tons of time to prepare. I ended up going to bed at midnight, but was exhausted when I got there so fell asleep immediately.

Thus ended my first day of my new plan, life change, direction.

Here is my food journal for the day:

• 6:30 AM - 1 Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc supplement, 1 1290 Fish oil (for hereditary high cholesterol), 1 multi-vitamin, 50mg Vyvanse, 40 mg Prozac, with water (2 oz)
• 8:15 AM - 17 oz EAS Myoplex Original meal replacement shake, chocolate fudge flavored, over ice (it wasn't cold yet as I'd just bought it).  12 oz Diet Pepsi
• 11:48 AM - 1 Reduced fat String Cheese (cheese stick), with water
• 12:00 PM  - 1 cup salad, 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar dressing, 4 oz (or less) grilled chicken with spices, 1/4 cup of mango chutney, 16 oz water, 17 oz Pomegranate Berry Sparkling Ice no calorie beverage
• 2:45 PM - 12 oz Diet Pepsi, 1 Reduced fat String Cheese (cheese stick)
• 3:00 PM - 16 oz water
• 6:30 PM - 1 large apple, sliced, 12 oz Diet Pepsi (first forbidden item)
• 9:30 PM - 1 Hershey's Special Dark candy bar (cold turkey just wasn't gonna happen)
• 11:00 PM - 1 egg, 2 egg whites scrambled, 2 slices of Canadian Bacon, 6 oz Diet Pepsi (didn't finish it)

Tomorrow will be better at remaining compliant, I hope!

For more information on the bad health effects from sugar addiction, please see "Suicide by Sugar" by Nancy Appleton, PhD and G.N. Jacobs.  Maybe you'll see something that you've experienced as well.  Good luck fellow addicts...we can beat this thing!